This happened to me at one point last year. Work and weather was preventing me from being able to spend much time training and riding my horse. She’s mostly arab and very hot-blooded, the kind of horse that really requires a great deal of attention and work. Much greater than most the other horses that we have. As time progressed, my mare became more and more disrespectful when I would approach her. She would pin her ears, she’d turn and just leave when I’d walk up to her. It seemed like she was mad at me for not spending time with her! I felt pretty bad about it. When I would take her out to do groundwork with her, she would give me a pinny-eared attitude and was giving a very lazy effort into all of the exercises. It was easy to think that she was resenting the work. Her attitude was really getting to me, it made me feel a lot worse about it.

I got a tip from one of my mentors on what was happening. As soon as I realized what was going on, the next time I went to work with her I approached her in the barn, she turned and started walking out, I chased her off, I had a training stick with me and when she turned her butt on me, I whacked it with the stick. (Remember, 2 eyes is always better than 2 heels) I gave her a reason to run. When she turned around to yield two eyes, I removed the pressure and asked her to come back in, she came in with a significantly different attitude, ears forward, head down, licking her lips. I took her out and did the groundwork exercises with her, I was no longer afraid to not ask her to do something, but just did the groundwork like I should. Her attitude was night and day different. She appeared so much happier and willing. She didn’t give me the pinny-eared response, but was doing each exercise with a much greater degree of hustle and effort.

So what happened? What changed her attitude so significantly? She was playing dominance games with me. Horses look for and want a leader. Some horses are quicker to accept a leader than others. Some particularly strong-headed horses need a firm and disciplined leader. While horses don’t have the capacity for complex emotions such as resentment, they are extremely sensitive to body language and energy. When I was feeling bad that I wasn’t spending enough time with her, my body energy reflected that and it showed that I was not being a strong or sufficient leader for my horse. But when I got after her in a similar way that a lead horse would go after another horse, her attitude was that of: “Ah ha! So you are my leader after all!”

She was able to pick this up pretty quickly, but if you have a horse that is just learning about this thing called “respect”, you might not see a change quite as quickly. Horses want you to prove to them that you are worthy of being their leader. You have to do what it takes to get the job done, don’t be the nagging mother and beg your horse to do something, and you don’t want to be the barbarian that makes your horse afraid of you. You need to be firm, but reward the slightest try. You don’t need to give them a treat, and in fact I would discourage it, when you feed your horse treats, he’s going to view you as a gumball machine. You want to see if your horse wants to be with you rather than come to you because he knows you’ll give him a sweet. Make everything simple, black and white: Make the wrong thing difficult and uncomfortable by moving their feet, and make the right thing easy by letting them rest and rubbing them.

One mistake I often see horse folks make is they get all caught up in the relationship with the horse first. You cannot establish trust with treats. Trust follows respect. How do you gain your horse’s respect? Do it the same way they do it in the wild or with their herd. Whoever moves first loses. When the lead horse makes all the other horses feet move, he has established himself as the leader. For us this means move their feet forward backward left and right, and always reward the slightest try. Once you have established a pattern of respect, you’ll see it in the horse’s response to you. Does he drop his head and relax around you after you’ve asked him to move his feet? Does he lick his lips when you reward him by letting him rest?

Establish a habit of respect by being a solid leader, and trust will build on that respect and leadership.

Happy trails! Let us know if this tip helped you, and be sure to share it with your friends!

I am a bit beside myself.. I am green with horses as is my mare that I have.. She has the sweetest disposition.. I had to put her in with a alpha mare as I have not got a pasture fenced for her yet.. This mare has bit her a lot and now the alpha has gotten my girl to where she won’t come near me.. I don’t blame her every time she does she gets bit… Will this alpha ruin my girl from me permanently or will this be something we can work out when I am able to have her with me?
- Vivianne via Facebook

Hi Vivianne, this circumstance is quite common for horses. In the beginning, horses will battle each other until they establish dominance, or determine which horse will be the dominant leader. Horses being put together for the first time will take some time to get used to each other. This can get fierce at times and it will continue until the most dominant horse has established herself completely as the alpha lead horse. Generally the horses lower in the hierarchy will learn to give the lead horse it’s space, as you’ve likely already seen. The alpha horse will stay after the lower horses until she so much as looks at them and they will give her a wide berth. This can be very challenging for us humans to watch and accept as it appears extremely rough at times. I’m going to guess that this lead mare also wants all the attention at the gate and keeps your girl away?

To the first question: No, the alpha mare will not ruin your girl permanently for you. You’ll really only see the greatest problem while the two are together with you. We like to keep many of our horses in a mixed herd (geldings and mares), and currently have a gelding that is extremely dominant and usurps attention at the gate while keeping the rest of the herd away. Here are some tips that you can use:

Work with the lead mare. Establish respect with her by moving her feet, forward, backward, left and right. I would do lunging for respect and lots of backing exercises. The better you can get her to back up, the better. You have to be a firm leader with a dominant horse, proving to her just as she would with the other horses, that you are the leader and she has to respect your space.

Go into the pasture with both horses and work with them together. While we are around the herd, we demand respect at all times. This means that we are not going to allow the alpha horse to attack the other horses while we are there. There’s nothing we can do to change the behavior of horses on their own, but we can change how they interact with us and each other while we are around. This is why we can train stallions and mares together without a problem. We demand respect and attention, when they are focused on us, they don’t have time to worry about the other horses. If the lead horse goes to attack your horse while you’re standing there, immediately back her up 30 yards. Notice the difference in her disposition when you do this. She’ll voluntarily follow you around with her head down. You should be able to walk up to your other horse without her chasing the other horse off or attacking.

If I come into the pasture and the lead horse is pinning his ears, keeping the other horses away, I’m going to immediately get his respect by yielding his hindquarters and backing him up with energy. Then I will call the other horses in. When you’ve established that respect with the lead horse, you will be able to bring your other horse to you without having her chased off.

The more consistent you are, the better behaved both will be around you, and the more your mare will build up confidence to be around you even while the alpha mare is there. Make sure you’re firm with them. If you tolerate disrespect sometimes and other times you demand respect, not much will change. Notice how the alpha mare will threaten the other horses to stay away from her, and she backs up those threats by either a bite or a double kick to the opposite horse. Put yourself in her hooves, you are the leader and do what it takes to get the job done. Get that respect, and then reward them when they do the right thing.

When you are alone with your horse, you should not have any change in attitude toward you. Just stay consistent with respect training and keep the rules of horsemanship in mind: You establish respect by moving the horse’s feet, keep them out of your personal space, be firm, and whoever moves first loses.

Let us know if this was helpful to you!

The object of Natural Horsemanship methods is to get the horse to do what we ask him to do, the moment we ask. We do this using respect, communication and trust rather than fear and intimidation employed by traditional horsemanship methods. The relationship that you have with other people and with your horses is built on respect. Sometimes you have to give respect in order to get respect. Trust requires a foundation built on respect. So why do we use “respect” to describe this method?

The reason we use the word respect is due to the definition of the word. While horses do not have the capability to feel some of the more complex human emotions, respect is used to describe the behavior that they exhibit. A behavior you can observe in the wild or even in a herd of horses. Notice how the lead horse has gained respect from the rest of the herd. When she walks toward the water trough or a pile of hay, the other horses move away, they respect her space. In the wild, that lead mare is responsible for leading the herd and the herd will follow her. They respect her as their leader.

Let’s look up some of the definitions of “respect”: (verb) “To avoid harming or interfering with”, a horse that respects you is going to avoid harming or interfering with you. This means that he is going to respect your personal space. This is important since horses typically outweigh humans 6 to 1. More people are seriously hurt or killed every year because they’ve been bucked off, bit, or kicked. A horse that is respectful of you is going to avoid harming you. Horses will not automatically respect you or your space, they have to be taught that respect. And each person that works with that horse must establish respect as well. Horses will often treat humans just like other horses, which means they are going to test you to determine if you’re a worthy leader. If you establish your personal space on the ground, the horse is going to learn to respect that space.

“To recognize and abide by” If you have a horse that respects you, he’s going to respond to what you ask, and do it immediately. A great sign of respect is a horse that, instead of running from you (hard to catch), comes up to you, knowing you don’t have a treat. A horse that respects and recognizes you as his leader is going to follow where you lead, he’s going to learn to trust you based on that respect. A horse won’t trust someone who is not a leader. How do you gain their respect? By moving their feet, forward, backward, left and right and always rewarding the slightest try.

Another definition of respect is “Proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment” A horse that is being respectful is going to accept you. This also means accepting you as his leader. Acknowledgement is a good example: There are often cases where we’ll see a horse running over his handler, pushing him around, or he’s spooking from something, he may not even acknowledge the person’s presence. Have you ever been run over by a horse you’re leading? This is why when a horse that hasn’t been taught respect is given to the hands of an experienced Natural Horsemanship trainer, when that person get’s the horse’s respect, there is a sudden and dramatic change in the demeanor and behavior of that horse. He acknowledges, perhaps for the first time, that the trainer is there. He puts his full attention on that trainer. You’ll often see this demonstrated by the horse licking his lips and lowering his head in a display of submission and… respect.

This is the reason that we and so many other Natural Horsemanship trainers and clinicians focus so much effort on gaining the horse’s respect and teaching others how to get that respect. Without a foundation of respect, you cannot build trust. Without trust, you cannot have a partnership with your horse. Respect is a word easily understood by humans, although to the horse, it’s perhaps much more simple: “Are you my leader, or are you not my leader?”

Aggressive behavior can cause horses to be unpredictable and dangerous

You enter your horse’s stall or corral, he flattens his ears, flares his nostrils, swishes his tail and threatens to kick or bite. He’s sending a clear message: “Get OUT!”. Does this look familiar? If so, your horse is exhibiting a normal horse behavior of dominance. Perhaps he only displays this aggression when you bring his food. You’re worried that he’ll eventually hurt someone. Why does he do this and what can you do about it?

Aggression toward people is especially common with many horses who have a history of abuse, or who are confined to small corrals or in stalls, but can also be common with horses that spend a lot of time around people. Horses can get used to people to a point where they start viewing us a other herd members. Aggression is often manifested around food, or it may just be whenever we enter their stall or corral. If we don’t curb this behavior, it can be dangerous. Horses outweigh humans by over 1,000 lbs, it is easy for them to hurt us, even if they don’t mean to.

Why Is My Horse Aggressive?

This aggressive or dominant behavior is typical for alpha leaders in a herd of horses

Basically, your horse is simply treating you like he would with other horses. If people enter what the horse considers “his space”, some horses will act aggressive or dominant. You will usually notice this when the horse flattens his ears when you come nearby. In horse language this means: “get out of my space!”. If you watch a herd of horses, you’ll find the same behavior demonstrated among the leaders, the most dominant herd members. In the wild, horses have a hierarchy that they establish through respect and control of movement. A lead mare will flatten her ears at a weaker horse, and if they don’t move out of the way, the leader may immediately bite or kick that other horse. They will always follow through with the threat if the horse does not respond. Horses will always give a warning or indication before they will bite or kick.

There may be other non-aggressive signs of dominance as well: Stubbornness, irritation, difficulty catching in the pasture, unwillingness to lead or obey commands. Your horse views himself as the dominant or alpha leader in your herd. He is not respecting you as his leader. Often times the issue of disrespect grows over time as your horse discovers that he can be disrespectful and get away with it. Horses will challenge you every day to determine if you are worthy to be their leader. It will start with the little things until it turns into a major problem over time.

Establish Yourself as the Leader

Establishing yourself as the leader will cause your horse to respect you. He will begin to lose his aggressiveness toward you if he respects you as his leader

When developing your relationship with your horse, always be firm and gentle. Don’t let him disrespect you. When you are feeding or grooming, don’t let him rub on you. This is a sign of disrespect. The rule of thumb is that you can enter into the horse’s space, but he is never allowed to come into your space without being invited. Your space is your personal “bubble”. When he shows you a sign of disrespect or enters your space, make him hustle his feet backward. Do whatever is necessary to get your horse out of your space. For all new horses, I always carry a training stick that allows me to move their feet and get them out of my space without allowing them to get too close.

The first step in establishing yourself as a leader is gaining your horse’s respect and trust. Horses establish respect by movement, either causing their feet to move, or inhibiting movement. The first rule in horsemanship is: Whoever moves first, loses. If you don’t make your horse move his feet forwards, backwards, left and right and you don’t maintain that respect between the two of you, his behavior will get worse. Horses are extremely smart and learn quickly.

You have to prove to your horse that you are worthy of the leadership role, you do this by moving his feet forwards, backwards, left and right and always rewarding the slightest try. When the leader of the herd tells the other horses to move, they better move or he’s going to back it up with  action. He’ll kick, bite and do whatever it takes to get the other horses feet to move. The more you can move your horses feet, and the less you move your own, the more effective leader you will become and the greater control you will have. The less you can move your horse’s feet, the less control you will have and your horse will become more disrespectful.

Establishing yourself as a better leader and getting greater respect from your horse will translate to your horse becoming more respectful around other people as well.

Respect in Any Environment

Moving your horse's feet backward or laterally (pictured) is a great way to quickly gain your horse's respect.

Always be the leader. Make your horse move his feet instead of walking around him. Ask him to step out of your space, don’t let him get pushy or crowd you while you are grooming, saddling or leading your horse. If your horse enters your hula-hoop space, wave your arms or use your training stick to make him back out of your space. As soon as he backs out of your space, reward the attempt with verbal praise or a rub on the head. By doing this, you are telling him that you are in charge and that he has to respect you. As a bonus, your horse will want to be around you. Horses look for strong leaders who they feel are bold and can protect them as an alpha horse would protect a weaker member of the herd.

Once you establish leadership and respect, you need to ensure that you have the same respect and control in their stall and corral, not just the arena or roundpen. Sometimes horses will get in a mode of working in an arena, but get aggressive when people enter their stalls. That’s their domain. Respect doesn’t stop in the stalls or pasture. You can still move their feet and yield their hindquarters. Even the smallest yields will make a difference in their understanding of you being their leader. You are their leader, all the time.

First establish respect and control on the ground in the round-pen or arena using groundwork exercises. Once you have their respect there, you can safely go to the corral or stall and move their feet in the more confined space. Instead of always leading your horse, back them up everywhere you go. Back them in and out of their stalls, back them down the hall, back them into the wash stall. Back them up so much that your horse will be convinced they are not allowed to walk forwards. This can be the quickest way to gain respect and control from an aggressive horse. If your horse is not good at backing up, you will need to teach backing to them one step at a time. Backing is one of the 3 primary exercises, meaning it is one of the very first thing we will teach a horse.

The Leadership Test

If you have established yourself as the alpha leader, your horse should willingly follow you anywhere.

A good test to see if your horse respects you as his leader is to walk around without a lead rope. If he chooses to follow you, he understands that you are the alpha leader. If he does not follow you, continue with groundwork exercises and hustling their feet. Horses are natural followers. The more you move their feet, the more respect they will have for you, and thus be willing to follow you.

Respect cannot be bought, it cannot be obtained overnight. Respect is a process that takes time. You’re not going to get your horse’s complete trust and respect overnight. It is not only something to teach your horse, but you have to learn the feel and timing, how to keep a horse out of your space, move their feet while not moving yours. This takes practice before it will become second nature. Give it time, be consistent and you will notice improvements every day. Horses don’t ever stay the same. Every day they either get a little bit better or a little bit worse. If you maintain that respect and improve upon it, your horse’s behavior will improve every day.